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Sermon preached on Ephesians 4:25-32 by Rev. W. Reid Hankins during the Morning Worship Service at Trinity Presbyterian Church (OPC) on 05/10/2026 in Petaluma, CA.
Sermon Manuscript
Rev. W. Reid Hankins, M.Div.
Today, we return to this passage again to focus on anger. We’ve seen that this passage has been giving practical examples of what our new life should look like as those who have put off the old and put on the new. We’ve especially noted that Paul says our new life should promote peace, purity, and unity in the church as we look to serve one another. This topic of anger especially relates to the peace of the church, but has application to all our living. May God grant us the grace to deal well with any anger that arises in us.
We’ll approach this text in three points. First, we’ll consider the phrase “Be angry and do not sin” in verse 26. Second, we’ll look at the phrase, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” also in verse 26. Third, we’ll look at verses 31-32 and see how it applies the put off, put on dynamic to dealing with anger.
Let us begin then with this phrase, “Be angry and do not sin.” We can immediately recognize two logical conclusions from this line. One, it is possible to be angry and not sin. Two, it is possible to be angry and sin in your anger. Anger is not necessarily sinful. There is a category of anger called “righteous anger” where such anger is right and thus good. In the Bible, the clearest and most frequent examples of righteous anger can be seen in God. His holy anger and righteous wrath is described throughout the Bible. After that, there are several examples of righteous anger with Jesus as the incarnate Son of God. After that, there are a number of other examples by humans that could be seen as righteous anger, though often there is some ambiguity in those accounts. But there are many clear examples of sinful anger in Scripture. Let us then remember that none of us are Jesus, and while there is theoretically a category of righteous anger, we must also recognize how often humans sin in our anger. As James 1:20 says, “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” If we don’t deal with our anger properly, it quickly becomes an occasion for sin.
So then, let me note two ways that you can be angry and in fact sin. First, we can be angry for the wrong reasons, and when we harbor that anger, we are sinning. It can’t be righteous anger, if you are angry for unrighteous reasons. Remember, Cain and Abel in Genesis chapter 4. There, God received Abel’s offering, but not Cain’s. The context implies Cain knew the right kind of offering but didn’t give that. When God didn’t have regard for Cain’s offering, it says that Cain became very angry and his face fell. God responded to Cain in Genesis 4:6 saying, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted?” Cain should not have been angry, but realized he was at fault in his offering. Another example of being angry for the wrong reason is with Jonah. God sent Jonah to preach against Nineveh and they repented and God forgave them. Jonah was angry that God showed them mercy. God confronted him about his anger saying, “Do you do well to be angry?” Jonah thought he was right to be angry about that, but God taught him otherwise. Jonah himself had received much mercy from God, it was not right for him to be angry about God showing similar mercy to others. What I appreciate about these examples is that even when confronted by God that their anger was not justified, they both still held on to their anger. We will be tempted in the same way when we find ourselves angry about something that we shouldn’t be angry about. How common it is in that moment for someone to say, “I’m angry and have a right to be angry.” Anger is so powerful that it can cloud our judgment. We must be careful not to deceive ourselves thinking we are right to be angry about something that we are not right to be angry. God here says, “Be angry and do not sin.” When you get angry over something, really examine whether you should be angry about that or not.
A second way we can be angry and in fact sin is when we respond to anger in a sinful way. Let’s say you are angry for a legitimate reason, like you witness something evil happen before you. It’s right to be angry about that, but don’t sin yourself in your response. Let me give you three scenarios that will help you think if you are sinning in your response to anger. First scenario, 1 Peter 4:8 says that love covers a multitude of sins. When someone sins against you, you will likely get angry. We can be tempted to overreact and make the issue bigger than it needs to be. In many cases, the right response is to love the person and cover their sin and overlook it. So, if we overreact in our anger, instead of being quick to cover such sin, we can sin in our anger. Second scenario, when King David learned about the great evil his son Amnon did to his daughter Tamar, it says that David was “very angry” (2 Sam 13:21). David was right to be very angry there. But David didn’t do anything about it. As both a father and the king, the righteous response of David would be to bring appropriate consequences upon Amnon so that Tamar is vindicated. David was angry, but did nothing. David sinned in omission, failing in his duty as father and king. A third scenario is the incident with David and Nabal in 1 Samuel 25. After David had showed kindness to Nabal, Nabal disrespected David. In a moment of sinful failing, David became so angry he was going to go and kill Nabal and all his men. Thankfully, God used Nabal’s wife Abigail to calm David down and David didn’t follow through with his plan. David would have greatly sinned, if he did that. In his anger, he would have transgressed the command, “You shall not murder.” God here says, “Be angry and do not sin.” We must not sin in our response to legitimate anger.
So then, in this first point we’ve seen two ways we can sin in our anger. If we are angry for an unrighteous reason, let us put off that anger. If we are unrighteous in how we respond to our anger, let us put that off too. Let’s turn now to our second point and consider the idea of “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” that we find in the second part of verse 26. Our first point had us consider sin associated with anger, which we need to put off. Now, this now turns to the idea that we need to properly handle and address our anger. You could say this tells us to put on proper and prompt anger management.
Now, this phrase of “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” has become proverbial wisdom spread far and wide. When people quote it, they often understand it to mean, “Don’t go to bed angry, instead work out your problems together, first.” It’s often told to newlyweds as sage advice for handling arguments. Now that is surely wise counsel and one good use of these words, but I believe we can consider this in an even more comprehensive way. You see, first, we need to consider the background for this verse. When it starts off saying, “Be angry, and do not sin,” Paul is actually quoting Psalm 4:4. That’s a psalm about conflict and dealing with the anger that comes with it. But listen to the whole verse that Paul is referencing. Psalm 4:4. “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” So Paul quotes the first part, and then gives us this line about not letting the sun go down on your anger, even though the psalm goes on to say, “Ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” The psalm goes on to talk about God giving joy to our hearts. It ends, with the psalm saying, “In peace, I will both lie down and sleep.” So, when Paul says, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” I think he’s giving some inspired summary of the rest of the psalm after it said, “Be angry, and do not sin.” The psalm immediately talks about how instead of being angry, we should meditate on our beds. It even says, be silent. Then it considers how God will yet give joy and peace so we can have a good night’s sleep. This psalm’s references to bed and sleep appear to have motivated Paul’s call to not let the sun go down on our anger.
The reason I wanted to draw in the context of that psalm is to explain that working out the problems with the person you are in conflict with is not the most immediate point made in the psalm. When it says to ponder on your bed and be silent, it’s addressing what you personally are going to be doing in your heart and mind with your anger. In a conflict, the temptation is to sit up all night raging in your mind. You might even start blaming God. But the psalm really confronts that. Its concern is that you wrestle with the matter, but then put it to bed (pun intended). You need to restrain your spirit that same day. Prov. 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” Let me emphasize the tool of prayer for dealing with your heart of anger. That is implied in the psalm because that’s what the psalmist is doing in the psalm. We need to deal with our anger and get it under control, right away, not tomorrow or next week. And we should use prayer to ask God for the grace to deal with the anger.
If you are in a deep conflict with someone, this is a first step towards reconciliation. You should pray about your anger as you slow down, think through things, calm down, and find some inner peace. Then you will be in a much place to have a conversation with the other person. So, I hope considering the background of Psalm 4 helps add some additional nuance to the idea of not letting the sun go down on your anger. In a conflict, you need to first deal with your heart. Then you might even decide it’s not a matter that needs to be addressed any further. You might have calmed down, reflected on it, and decide to overlook the matter in love. Or if you do ultimately speak with the person, you will be a in better spirit to work things out.
And this point is also important when we remember that your anger might not have anything to do with a specific personal conflict. There might not be another person to go and work things out with. Your anger might be about other things, things that might not be able to be easily fixed that day. You might be angry with the state of your life, or the country, or something else. You don’t have some way to solve what you are angry about. But you can still do what Paul says here. You can deal with your heart before God in prayer, on that same day, and seek the peace that transcends understanding. Yes, you might come up with some righteous game plan to try to address what you were upset about. But ultimately you need to let go of the anger, because God doesn’t want you to harbor that anger. It becomes a problem, when we do. That leads us nicely to our third point.
So then, let’s now look at verses 31-32 and see how it more specifically applies the put off, put on dynamic to dealing with anger. Start with the put off which we find in verse 31. We can group the bitterness, wrath, anger together. Then we can group the clamor and slander together. Then the “all malice” stands on its own. Think first about the bitterness, wrath, and anger. These three are closely related and the word for anger is the same one as back in verse 26. What I want you to recognize is that when you don’t deal with the anger, it results in either bitterness or wrath. This is why it is so important to deal with anger and not let it harbor. The Greek root for this word for bitterness is about plants that that produce inedible and even poisonous fruit. But it is used figuratively to describe the harmful spirit one develops when anger is bottled up and allowed to remain in the heart. Sometimes people hide their bitterness well, but usually it shows itself in ways that can be toxic to others. Bitter people can make sharp cutting comments, be passive aggressive, unkind, and can look for more subtle ways to exact revenge. They resist reconciliation, are resentful, and generally have a bad spirit towards the people they are angry with. In contrast, this language of wrath is of the same spirit of anger, but manifests itself in a bolder way. When used of God, wrath is about pouring our divine judgment and thus punishment on others. But when used of humans, it’s about the unleashed rage and fury that looks to vent their anger in very strong and visible ways. It’s a way to unleash their anger on someone to punish them. It again is a result of not properly dealing with the anger and putting it away. These three can often be seen leading one to the other. Someone might start with anger that they don’t deal with. Eventually it turns into bitterness and the problems that brings. But then that bottled anger sometimes explodes into wrath that unleashes all that pent up anger on someone. It’s that proverbial straw that broke the camels back, when the geyser of bitterness finally goes off in a wrathful pouring out of anger.
Now the words in verse 31 for clamor and slander we spoke about last week under the topic of speech. I made the point that both deal with sinful speech used against others. Be reminded today that sinful speech is one outcome of bitterness and wrath. But you see, what happens when you don’t deal with the anger is that ultimately it gives birth to the last item in this list, this spirit of malice. This word, malice, describe the ill will and evil and malicious spirit you have toward someone. In other words, if you don’t deal properly with the anger, not only can it express itself in saying things you shouldn’t, but it can develop a whole evil heart toward the person. Once that happens, all sorts of evil and hate comes forth. It can result not only in evil words but evil thoughts that lead to evil actions, even murder. This is, what became of Cain and his anger. It turned to malice that murdered his brother, Abel.
So then, we must put off all this. Verse 32 speaks of what to replace it all with: kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. Now I mentioned all three of these last week, especially focusing on kindness in how you speak to others. Indeed, instead of being angry with other people, be kind to them. You might be in a conflict with someone, but you can still be kind to them, even if they are mean to you. But this will be easier, if you will put on a tender heart for them. Instead of having a bitter, resentful spirit, be tender and compassionate to them. Instead of wanting to unleash your wrath on them, pity them. You see, if you are truly accurate that they have some evil failing, instead of being angry about it, be sorry for them that their soul is in such an estate. Have a heart that desires them to be in a better place, not a heart that wants to punish them. Have a heart that sees their needs and wants to see their good, not their downfall. Praying for them can help you to have a tender heart toward them.
But ultimately verse 32 call you to forgive them. The more injured you feel, the more angry you are, the harder this will be. That is why putting off the anger is the start. It is hard to forgive, and it almost always comes at a cost. When someone has hurt you, it’s essentially to say that you will end up bearing the hurt they caused. Now sometimes it is asked if you really need to forgive them if they aren’t sorry for what they did and they aren’t seeking your forgiveness. Well, the biblical answer acknowledges that it won’t be possible to have the full reconciliation and healing in the relationship if they aren’t willing to repent of the ways they have injured you. Luke 17:4 specifically says this, that if they repent, you should forgive them. Yet, it is also Luke’s gospel, where Jesus while dying on the cross, prays, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk. 23:34). Jesus had a forgiving spirit and tenderheartedness to the people who were right there mocking him and not yet repentant. Jesus models what Paul calls us to here. While full reconciliation happens when all parties in a conflict seek to work through things and make things right, we should approach peacemaking with a spirit of tenderness and seeking to forgive and restore.
Trinity Presbyterian Church, if you go through a difficult conflict, you will need wisdom to navigate some of the fine details of biblical reconciliation. We’ve only scratched the surface today. But God would have peace among humans, especially among the members in his church. Anger that is not properly dealt with will greatly hinder that peace. I pray today’s passage has given much to encourage you in the battle every one of us will have, to deal with anger when it inevitably arises.
I do want to use this topic to conclude with a gospel call. Are you under God’s righteous anger and wrath? If you have not yet come to Christ in faith and receive the forgiveness of sins, then you are still under God’s wrath and there is coming a day of final judgment. But if you have turned in faith to Jesus, then God’s wrath has been put away. When we talk about Jesus’s death on the cross as making propitiation for our sins, that’s literally what that word propitiation means. It means putting away God’s anger and wrath toward us. May everyone here know Jesus as their propitiation. Believe on him and you will not know God’s wrath but you will enjoy his kindness and mercy for eternity.
We will all fall short in this life in handling our anger. It’s one of the most common human struggles. That is why we need to turn our eyes afresh upon Jesus as our propitiation. And then, in knowing how he puts away God’s anger from us, let us be spurred on to put away our anger toward others. Praise be to God for his mercy in Jesus.
Amen.
Copyright © 2025 Rev. W. Reid Hankins, M.Div.
All Rights Reserved.
