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Sermon preached on Ephesians 5:22-33 by Rev. W. Reid Hankins during the Morning Worship Service at Trinity Presbyterian Church (OPC) on 07/26/2026 in Petaluma, CA.
Sermon Manuscript
Rev. W. Reid Hankins, M.Div.
Last week we talked about submission in general from verse 21. Now, we turn to marriage, the first of three specific institutions where Paul teaches about submission. We’ll see him address wives, with a call for submission to their husband. That will be our first point for today. We’ll then see Paul address husbands, with a call for them to love their wife. That will be our second point for today. As this passage directly addresses husbands and wives, it speaks to each husband and wife here today, or any who desires to become such. But the passage also goes on to speak of how marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. That means this passage also speaks to people who aren’t married. Maybe God has called you to singleness or you are a widow not intending to get remarried, yet this passage has something wonderful for you today as you consider what it means for Christ and the church to be united together. That will be our third point for today. Let us dig into this glorious passage.
We begin first with the command here for wives to submit to their own husbands. Let me acknowledge that many in our culture today would be opposed to this call for a wife to submit to her husband in the Lord. In fact, there are some Christians who embrace what is called Christian egalitarianism who don’t want to accept what this passage says on face value, and have to make great efforts to interpret away the clear teaching of it and similar Bible passages. Some Christian egalitarians would argue that Paul was just working from within his cultural norms, but that doesn’t account for how the Bible in Genesis roots a husband’s headship in marriage as part of God’s original design. Other Christian egalitarians might argue that a wife’ submission to her husband is part of the curse due to sin, but that is misinterpretation of what is found in Genesis 3. Rather, the curse brought the frustration of sin to a marriage, including that a wife might be tempted to subvert her husband and that a husband might be too harsh in leading his wife. However a Christian egalitarian might try to explain away these and other passages, I commend to you that it is part of God’s good design that there be order and structure in a marriage that includes a husband lovingly leading his wife and a wife loving following his lead. This is sometimes referred to as complementarianism.
So then, the command to the wife in verse 22 is to “submit” to her husband. Recall that “submit” means to put yourself under the authority of another. The alternative would be to subvert that leadership, as in trying to undermine it, or even worse, to try to set yourself as the authority and head in your marriage. It would be wrong for a wife to try to make her husband be in submission to her. Verse 33 gives a complementary explanation of a wife’s submission. It says she should respect her husband. That describes how a wife should honor her husband by recognizing, supporting, and encouraging his leadership in their life. Let me note here that this does not mean that the wife shouldn’t speak up, voice opinions, or even passionately advocate for things to her husband. Submission doesn’t mean silence or to just keep quiet. It doesn’t mean you don’t have any input. Surely the healthiest of marriages is where a husband and a wife closely collaborate on major decisions. A wise husband will find that his wife is a God-given help for such and will encourage her to speak and he will carefully consider her words. Likewise, a wise husband will also see that there are many duties that naturally fall under the purview of the wife that doesn’t need him micromanaging her every decision. Nonetheless, in such healthy marriages, a wife will not only feel deeply involved in their life choices, she will also loyally support her husband when he needs to make a final decision on something.
Notice that verse 22 explains that a wife’s submission is to be done “as to the Lord.” This is saying it is an act of Christian obedience when a wife submits to her husband. She is obeying Jesus in her submission. Wives, if you embrace this perspective, it will make it easier to submit to your husband. Inevitably, your husband will have shortcomings and failings that will make following him at times difficult. It’s easier to follow a wise, noble husband of good character, than it is to follow a foolish or worthless one. Yet, even when husband is less than worthy, a wife can at least still honor him for his position as the head. But if a wife will submit to such a husband, “as to the Lord”, then that means she won’t have to submit merely out of respect for her husband’s position. Rather, she can submit, even to a less respectable husband, out of respect for Christ as her ultimate head. If Jesus has so suffered for you, may a wife follow even a less worthy husband out of her love for Christ.
Now verse 23 gives an analogy to further explain the way in which a wife should look to submit to her husband. It introduces the idea the Christ and the church is a picture of a husband and a wife. The picture is that Christ is the head of the church and the church is body of Christ. That is analogous to the husband being the head of the wife, which means the wife is the body in the analogy. Let us appreciate what this analogy does. The head-body analogy really clarifies the nature of authority in marriage. It emphasizes that it is the context of the oneness of marriage. While we can rightly say that Jesus is King and Lord of the church it is something closer and more intimate to say Jesus is the head of the church. The relationship in marriage between a husband and a wife is not described here as a king and his subject. It is described as one person, and just as the head leads the rest of the body, so that is the picture here for marriage. We wouldn’t get upset at our head leading our physical body, and we’d probably see a doctor if our hand or foot stopped responding to our head. Wives, see the close connection with your husband. See how it would be unhealthy and dysfunctional to fight against your head. Instead, see how the body has a wonderful role in supporting and following the head.
Now verse 23 also mentions another aspect of Christ’s relationship to the church, that he is the church’s savior. Now, of course, no one’s husband is going to be a savior to his wife, the way Jesus has saved the church. Yet, hopefully, an honorable husband is going to be a guardian, protector, provider, and even a “knight in shining armor” to his wife. But it’s important to consider this idea that Christ is a savior to the church, because it speaks to the attitude the church should have when it submits to Christ. The church should submit out of gratitude, glad to serve her savior. The church should gratefully follow Christ. Now, wives, hopefully your husband will treat you so well that your submission is done with gladness and gratitude for him. But I think the point here is even more that. In gratitude toward Christ, you should submit in gladness to your husband. As a part of the church, you’ve come to be grateful to Jesus, so you can gratefully follow and serve your husband as his helpmate. The point is again that a wife’s submission is rooted in Christ’s worthiness, not your husband’s. That point is surely made again in verse 24 when it says that as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. It doesn’t say, “If your husband is like Christ to you, then submit to him.” It says, “As the church submits to Christ, you should thus submit to your husband.”
Lastly on this point of a wife’s submission, I point out that verse 24 says that a wife should submit in everything. Two explanations about this. First, the reason it says everything surely has to do with the oneness of marriage. You are to aspire to be one as a couple, one united organic being, head and body working together. So, of course, the ideal to seek is in everything. Second, while “everything” is total in scope, it is not absolute in scope. A husband’s headship extends to everything, but his authority is still under the authority of Christ. Remember, verse 21 says our submission is out of reverence to Christ, and verse 22 that a wife submits as to the Lord. If a husband were to demand a wife to disobey Christ, she must not submit to that.
Let us turn now to our second point and to the command for husbands to love their wives, specifically as Christ loved the church. It is important to recognize the whole sentence. Both a husband and a wife should love each other in marriage (Titus 2:4). But the husband here is especially being commanded to love his wife the way Christ has loved the church. May this right away emphasize what we’ve already seen about Christ’s relationship to the church as both its head and its savior. Husbands, you are the head of your wife, not the totalitarian dictator or even benevolent dictator of your wife. Likewise, you are to be a sort of savior to your wife, not in the identical way of Christ, but as we said you should be a guardian, protector, and provider who seeks the good welfare of his wife.
As we think about a husband’s love for his wife, it is clear that such love here is not some fickle emotional state. It is a choice, a disposition, a movement of the will, and a matter of action. This is wonderfully described when it explains further about the kind of love Christ has for his church. First, we see that Christ’s love for the church is a sacrificial love. He says, Christ gave himself up for the church. We remember Jesus’ death on the cross for us. There is no greater love than a man lay down his life for his friend, John 15:13. A husbands is to have a sacrificial love for his wife because that is how Christ has loved the church. Husbands, realize, this doesn’t say love your wife so much that you’d be willing to die for her. It’s more than that. If you are just willing to step in front of a bullet for her, that love is hypothetical until put to the test. Rather, this is saying to already have the love that would step in front of a bullet for her. Show that love to your wife every day. The love that would die for her, give her that powerful, sacrificial love daily.
Jesus’ love is not only described as sacrificial, but purposeful and beneficial. You see, it goes on in verses 26-27 to explain why Christ sacrificed his life for the church. He did it, so that the church would be sanctified, cleansed, and washed so pure that she is splendidly spotless and wrinkle-free, i.e. holy and blameless. Similarly, down in verse 29, it speaks of how Christ nourishes and cherishes the church. These descriptions make us think of how the cross of Jesus is the basis for our justification, our sanctification, and our final glorification. So, Jesus’ love isn’t just sacrificial, it also is something that works for the great good of the church. Husbands, so love your wife. There is no room for you to be harsh or hurtful to your wife, if your love is purposed for her good. Young Christian brothers who are newly married sometimes, foolishly, do a lot of demanding submission from their wife while greatly failing themselves to love like this. Husbands would be wise and godly to demand less and sacrifice more. Husbands, love and lead with a goal for the wellbeing and even gladness of your wife. Care and nurture her by how you lead. Show her that you cherish her, especially in the decisions you make. If, instead, you are constantly thinking of how she doesn’t serve you well enough, you probably are missing the kind of love that Christ is telling you to have for her. This is no small demand. Christ commands you, husbands, to love your bride as he has so loved the church!
Verses 28-29 further explain how a husband should think about his love for his wife by emphasizing the oneness in marriage. He says we husbands should love our wives as our own bodies, because she is our own body. Now yes, organically speaking, a husband and a wife are physically two distinct organisms. If one spouse is physically injured and feels the pain, the other spouse doesn’t physically feel that pain. But, in the spirit of the oneness of marriage, Paul is saying that a husband, body and soul, is united as one with his wife, body and soul. So, you should treat her as if she truly were one and the same with you, because from the standpoint of marital unity, that is how we are to think of things. So when it says, “No one ever hates his own flesh,” surely Paul would have in mind that a husband should not be physically harsh with his wife. That is a temptation to sinful man. Because men are typically stronger than women, a husband could more easily use physical violence against his wife to try to get his way. But that would be sinful, and it would be foolish. Paul’s logic here would be to say that if you harm your wife, you harm yourself. You certainly are not showing the love Christ has for his church. Thus, verse 28 goes on to say that if a husband instead loves his wife, he is actually loving himself. Due to the oneness of marriage, the good a husband shows his wife is actually simultaneously showing good to himself. A Christian should recognize the wisdom of properly caring for his wife. Paul cements the point by quoting the institution of marriage from Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Let us now turn to our third point and consider how in verse 32 Paul turns this all around to say that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. Verse 32, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” So, he mentions a mystery. The immediate reference when he says “this mystery” seems to refer to the marriage institution there in Genesis. A husband and a wife each separate from their parents to create a new exclusive, life-long union where they covenant to live as one in all of life. How anyone would be willing to make such a commitment to another sinner might from one perspective seem hard to understand, yet so many such wonderous unions have happened through history. There is something mysterious about such love and commitment two people make to each other, and the glorious family that forms from it. But then Paul pivots and says, “But he is referring to Christ and the church.” The mystery of marriage gives way to an even more wonderful mystery of the union of Christ and the church!
If any could wonder how two sinners could decide to commit to a life together, how much more to think of what Christ did for us? While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He loved us with such love, when we didn’t yet love him, to give himself up for us. Notice then how Paul paints the picture here of marriage picturing Christ and the church. He tells us this in verse 32 at the end of the passage. But he actually already sketched the picture throughout our entire passage for today. Verse 23, Christ is the head, the church is the body, so it is one person, like marriage is. Verse 24, the church submits to Christ as the wife is supposed to submit to her husband. Verse 25, Christ as savior of the church, loved the church to the greatest sacrifice of the cross. Verse 26, He did this to sanctify the church, to wash away our sin, to continue to clean and purify our souls. Verse 27, he is working this cleansing in us, until that day he finally presents us to him at the day of his return. That will be our wedding day, when we the church go from betrothed to Jesus to consummated with him. Thus, he is and will always nourish and cherish us, verses 28-29. For as verse 30 says, we Christians are each members, parts, of his body, which is his bride. This will all culminate into an eternity of glory and fellowship with our Lord, forever, and ever!
Do you see yourself in this picture? That is the application each one of us can take, if we have come to be united to Christ Jesus in faith. Indeed, this whole letter of Ephesians has been making this point. I refer to the union with Christ. Isn’t that what this picture of Christ and the church here is, married, united, as one together? Ephesians Chapter 1 began by declaring all the saving blessings we have in our union with Christ. That chapter ended by describing the church as the body with Christ as the head, saying his fulness is filling us, all in all. Chapter 2 described how Jesus has gathered up Christians from all over, Jews and Gentiles, from those near and from those far, to be united together as one in Christ. Chapter 3 further developed this oneness in Christ and culminate with a prayer for the fulness of God to fill us the church in Christ by the Holy Spirit. Chapter 4 then describes the head-body imagery of the church and Christ as one growing up into a fully mature person. Chapter 5 describes how the new life we have in Christ fills us so that we no longer live like we used to live but we love, walk, and live as Christ because Christ is in us. Chapter and chapter about our union with Christ. But here, it culminates in an even grander way. Why and how can sinners be united with Jesus to be one body with Christ as our head? It is because Jesus is taking us to be his bride, to be glorious and beautifully joined as husband and wife for eternity. What a mystery that you and I are a part of as Christians.
Trinity Presbyterian Church, be built up in our union with Christ. Be encouraged in Jesus’ love for us. Grow in your submission to him. Yet, I love how verse 33 returns the practical message that was on the surface. As much as marriage wonderfully pictures the greater reality of Christ and his church, nonetheless, may each husband love his wife, and may each wife respect her husband. Praise be to God!
Amen.
Copyright © 2025 Rev. W. Reid Hankins, M.Div.
All Rights Reserved.
